I glanced up at him, and he smiled guilelessly. I’d heard him wrong. There was no us. Not now. Maybe not ever. I really didn’t know what I wanted. It was all so confusing.
“Where’s Junie?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t seen her in a while.
“She went home with Steele and Kaden. They were going to play video games.”
“She likes Kaden.”
“Yeah, well, good luck to her. He has a mystery lover. No one’s ever seen her, and he won’t talk about her. Kaden is obsessed with this woman. I’ve never seen him like this.” Easton slid his arm across the back of the couch behind me. His fingers lightly played with a lock of my hair. I involuntarily shivered from the intimate contact.
“Really? Kaden? He seems like such a player.”
“He is. It’s odd. Steele thinks she’s married.”
“Oh, that’s not good for anyone.”
“Tell me about it.” He pulled me closer to him, and I relished the warmth of his body next to me. The gas fireplace and Christmas lights added to the magic of the moment, and I never wanted this night to end. As I stared into his deep brown eyes, I knew this was where I belonged, where I’d always belonged. I envisioned sitting in front of a Christmas tree like this with him years from now as our grandkids and great-grandkids opened their presents.
I’d thought I’d have the same future with Mark, but had I been deluding myself, or was I deluding myself now? Was the magic of the moment overriding my common sense? Falling for Easton again hadn’t been part of my plan. Getting an education and supporting my children comfortably without anyone else’s help had been. I started classes after the new year, working toward my nursing degree. It’d be difficult to study and take care of rambunctious twins, but I would find a way. I had Junie’s help, and I had Easton’s. He was a great father, even if he didn’t have much practice. The kids adored him, and I’d abandoned my fears he wasn’t in this for the long haul.
“What are you thinking?” he said as he smiled at me.
“About us.” My honesty surprised him. I saw it in his eyes. His expression softened, and he pulled me closer to him. I didn’t resist. I wasn’t capable of resistance. I’d been resisting him for too long, and tonight I didn’t have the willpower or the energy. I rested my head on his strong, capable shoulder and cleared my overactive brain of as many worries as possible, allowing myself to just be for a little while.
We sat there in silence, listening to Christmas music and watching the flames dance in the fireplace.
Caroline point of view
I woke much later. At first, I was disoriented, but my foggy brain finally registered where I was. Easton was carrying me to the bedroom. He nudged the door shut with his heel and placed me on the bed. I lay there, looking up at him, as I fully awoke. I’d had dreams, dreams of Easton and me together. In one dream, Mark pounded on the door of our happy home and demanded I come back to him. He wasn’t really dead, and I was still married to him. That one shook me up more than I cared to admit.
Easton sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong, Caro? I saw something in your eyes. What is it?”
“Just a disturbing dream.”
“Tell me about it. You can tell me anything.”
Déjà vu washed over me. He’d said those words to me years ago, and I’d spilled the truth about my horrible homelife and unloving parents. I’d been certain then I hadn’t been worthy of love, that something had to be wrong with me, not them. Even now, I still suffered from the residual effects of feeling unloved and unworthy. Trust had always been an issue with me. Loving Mark had been safe because our love wasn’t the soul-deep kind of love that would rip your heart out and leave you irreparably scarred and broken if it ever ended.
“Caro, I’m here for you. I won’t walk away again. I promise.”
“I’m trying.” I wanted to believe him, but my life had been about the people I loved the most leaving me. Getting beyond that kind of programming wouldn’t be easy.
He lay down next to me, fully clothed, and held me in his arms. He didn’t try anything, just held me. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. I have broad shoulders. I can carry some of the load too.”
His words rang true, but I wasn’t that easy to win over. I held back a part of me, a part I’d once given to him and only him. He’d stomped the life out of me and left me alone and, unknown to us, pregnant. Trust would take time.
“So can I stay?” He rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand.
I wanted him to stay, but I was compelled to resist out of pure habit. “The kids might hear us.”
“These walls are pretty soundproof,” he assured me. “And the doors are solid wood.”
“And you know this how?”
He gave me one of those looks. “Seriously? You’re asking me this? Look who I’m rooming with.”
“Steele, who keeps to himself and doesn’t bring women home, and Kaden, who has a secret lover no one knows anything about.”
“You do have a point. As long as you tamp down your screaming, we should be fine.”
“My screaming?”
“I used to make you scream. In fact, I loved it when you screamed out my name.”
I’d loved it, too, but I wasn’t telling him what he already knew. “I don’t scream anymore.”
“Let me see what I can do about that.”
“I’m mad at you.”
“Makeup sex is the best.”
“Do you have an answer for every argument I come up with?”
“Yup.” He grinned at me. One of his large hands stroked my arm. His eyes shone with affection and desire. “I haven’t slept with anyone since you called me that first time.”
“No one?”
“No one measures up to you.”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.
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