Chapter 325 – Beginning with a Daring Encounter

“I told you, Celsie. I’m not mad at you. I doubt I can ever be mad at you. It’s myself that I’m upset with right now, not you. I like to believe that I know you a lot, yet it seems like I don’t think straight when it involves you, and that is what upsets me. I should have known that something like this wouldn’t sit well with you, but I didn’t think it through, and I ended up asking you to do it, and it made you uncomfortable. The same way I should have thought about it last night before restraining you…”

“You are overthinking this,” Celsie cut in with a frown.

“No. I’m not thinking at all, and that’s the problem. I keep making mistakes because I’m allowing my feelings and desire for you to cloud every rational thought I should be having. I need to do better. What if restraining you last night had triggered another episode…”

“But it didn’t.”

“But I didn’t know that it wouldn’t,” Benne countered.

“What is wrong with you? You did what you did because you wanted to replace my awful memories with pleasurable ones. Why are you beating yourself over that right now?” Celsie asked incredulously.

“Because it was a risk I shouldn’t have taken with you. I’m someone that always thinks things through. I am deliberate about every step I take. And I don’t think I’ve been doing much of that lately, and I’m sorry,” Benne said with a shake of his head as he headed for the door.

“Let’s join the others for dinner,” he called to her, letting her know he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Celsie looked at him, her heart feeling heavy, “I’m sorry you…”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, love. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m acting out of character, and I just need to get my act together. Don’t worry your head about me. I love you and always will. I just need to sort out myself,” Benne assured her as he held out his hand to her and led her out to join the others.

Conversations around the table ceased as they approached. Everyone was curious why they joined them late since even Bryan and Sonia, who were fond of making a late appearance, had come down before them.

“Sorry we are late,” Benne murmured as he held out Celsie’s seat for her before sitting down next to her.

Maybe it was because they both seemed lost in their thoughts, but there was no smart comment from either of their fathers as they watched them pick up their cutleries to eat.

The rest of them on the table looked at each other, and as if by unanimous agreement, conversations resumed once again.

“Do you think they fought?” Bryan whispered to Sonia as they both watched Benne and Celsie, who were being weird.

“Celsie isn’t the type. She is a peacemaker who hates confrontations. Why do you think she forgave Benne so easily after that deception?” Sonia whispered back while she also wondered what was going on.

“Okay, I can’t ignore you two anymore. You both don’t seem so lovey-dovey tonight. Did you fight?” Benne’s father asked after some time as he looked from Benne to Celsie, both of whom were quiet despite all the conversations and jokes going on around the dining.

“No, we didn’t,” Benne said as he ate quietly.

“So what is wrong? Did something happen again? You both have barely eaten or said anything since you got here,” Benne’s mother asked in concern.

“Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine,” Benne said in a cool tone.

“It doesn’t look like everything is fine,” his mother observed, and Benne dropped his cutlery noisily as he let out a sigh.

“Maybe I need to rest. I’ve had a very busy weekend, and I’m going to work tomorrow. Goodnight,” Benne said to everyone as he pushed away from the table and walked away, leaving them staring at his back.

“Is everything alright, darling?” Celsie’s mother asked with concern, and Celsie forced a smile as she bobbed her head and stood up.

“I should check on him. Goodnight,” she said as she hurried after Benne.

Celsie didn’t say a word to him until they walked through the bedroom door and shut the door behind them, “If I thought restraining me with cuffs was going to trigger me, I would have stopped you from doing that. I didn’t stop you because it was YOU. Although I wasn’t comfortable with it, I trusted you. I trust you, Benne. I’m just not sure I’m completely comfortable with the idea of having anything else inside me yet that’s why I said I couldn’t do it,” Celsie explained as she grabbed Benne’s arm, her gray eyes pleading with him to understand her.

Benne sighed as he turned to her and cupped her cheeks in his hand, “You trust me, and that is why I need to be even more careful. You are my baby, and I don’t want to make any mistake that might hurt you. You are still new to all of these, and I know that one little mistake on my part can make you run back into your shell, and I need to avoid that. So if you trust me, believe me when I say my mood right now is about me, not you,” Benne pleaded as he kissed her forehead.

Celsie sighed, “Is there something I can do to improve your mood?” Celsie asked hopefully.

“Yeah. You should cheer up and stop worrying about my mood,” Benne suggested as he kissed both sides of her cheeks before letting her go.

“And you shouldn’t have left without eating,” Benne chided.

“How did you expect me to eat when you were being like that? You didn’t eat much either,” Celsie pointed out with a pout, and this time Benne’s lips twitched.

“My mood affects you that much?”

“Of course it does,” she complained with a frown.

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be ’cause I’m hungry yet couldn’t eat because of you,” Celsie said with a scowl.

“You should return to the dining…”

“No. I don’t want to unless you’re coming with me,” Celsie said, making him sigh.

“Can I get you something to eat when the others go to bed? I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone else,” Benne said, and just as Celsie opened her mouth to protest, her phone started ringing.

“Give me a moment. It’s Lucas,” she informed Benne as she walked away from him and over to the bed to sit down.

“I will get busy with work to clear my head. Let me know when you’re done,” Benne said as he picked up his laptop from the nightstand and went to sit on the balcony.

“Hey! You arrived safely?”

“Yep. I just got home. I tried reaching mom and dad, but they’re not taking their call,” Lucas informed her.

“That’s probably because they left their phones in the bedroom and are having dinner,” Celsie explained. Their parents didn’t like the idea of receiving phone calls while eating.

“Oh, sure. Let everyone know I arrived safely. And I’m fine,” Lucas said, and Celsie raised a brow.

“Are you really okay? Are you meeting Rachel?”

“No. She doesn’t have to know I’m back. I’m not going anywhere near my apartment until I’m sure she’s not there. I’m at home. I’m sure she won’t think to come here,” Lucas explained.

“You are avoiding her. Why not just face her once and for all?” Celsie asked thoughtfully.

“I don’t want to. She’s just going to cry and beg or throw a tantrum. I’m not interested,” Lucas said dismissively, “How did the games go? Who won?” Lucas asked, changing the subject.

Celsie told him about it, and Lucas laughed at the hilarity of it all, “I can’t believe they agreed to do that. I wish I were there to witness it.”

“Don’t worry. I will forward the clips to you tomorrow,” Celsie promised.

“That will be nice. You should be having dinner right now. Let me not hold you back. My regards to everyone. Talk to you later,” Lucas said before hanging up.

Once she dropped her phone, Celsie looked in the direction of the balcony with a sigh. She could see Benne tapping away at his laptop even though she had no idea what he was working on.

She needed to do something to cheer him up. She remained where she was as she racked her brain for every possible non-sexual way to cheer him up. When she came up with nothing reasonable after a while, she picked up her phone and connected the Bluetooth device to the bedroom’s home theater before scrolling through her music player until she settled for Keri Hilson’s ‘Knock You Down’.

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