An hour later, we were at the gynecologist’s consultation room.
Jackson held Summer as I sat opposite the doctor’s office. I asked sheepishly, “Doctor, it was four months since I delivered my child. Since she died, I couldn’t produce any more milk. Is it still possible to breastfeed now?”
The gynecologist was a woman of fifty or so. She cast a glance to Jackson at my side and the child in his arms, and said, “Under normal circumstances, that would be impossible. Of course, there is a small chance to, as many new mothers are able to breastfeed up to six months after delivery. But it all depends on the individual.”
After a brief pause, she continued. “We don’t recommend that you go for specialized therapy, but you could let your husband give it a go. Usually, a combination of diet and sexual stimulation is enough to induce lactation.”
It took a while for the full meaning of her words to register on me. I blushed furiously and was about to retort but I stopped myself. Instead, I chose to disregard that part. “What do I have to pay attention to in my diet?”
“Consume food that encourages breast milk secretion, look up herbal remedies as well. I don’t have any for sale, but I could write you a prescription for the ingredients. Other people prefer massages, but we won’t recommend you doing that. It’s been four months for you; if the masseuse is overly heavy- handed, they could damage your mammary glands. Your husband could give you a hand with that. And let your child keep trying. The pressure from her suction won’t hurt you.”
At that, she bent over and wrote my prescription. After handing it to me, she added, “This process would require positivity and decent sleep to work. Make sure you get plenty of those!”
I nodded, still flushed in the face. After thanking the gynecologist, we departed the hospital.
Jackson was still holding Summer. He let out a cough and he turned to me. “This will take a toll on your body. Summer has been on milk powder for three months, and other than being slightly frail for her age, she doesn’t appear unhealthy. Should we just forgo this?”
Studying the prescription, I pursed my lips. “Summer is my child. If I am able to breastfeed her, why shouldn’t I? We owe it to her to try. You wouldn’t want her to be sickly when she gets older, would you?”
Jackson nodded. “Be that as it may, but the doctor said that it could harm you. Four months is a pretty long time. It would be difficult to start again after that long.”
“Let’s go,” I said, in an effort to end the conversation. I reached over and took Summer from his arms and got into the car.
Jackson got into the driver’s seat, clearly unsatisfied with the way our chat was going. But something on the outside caught his eye and he froze.
I followed his gaze and saw a woman dressed in a hospital gown outside of the patient’s ward. She was walking alongside a man in a black suit. He had a cold-looking demeanor.
It was clear that he had just visited the woman at the hospital, and was accompanying her for a walk around the hospital grounds.
Jackson looked over at me. “What’s the situation now between you and Anthony?”
I slammed the car door shut and watched the couple return to the hospital. “Contemplating divorce.”
Jackson frowned. “Because of him and Rylee?”
I frowned back at him. “Isn’t that enough?”
He started the car without another word. After a period of silence, he said, “If you still care about each other, you should talk it out. Divorce is too rash.”
I didn’t respond. Looking back out at the hospital, they were nowhere to be found. Anthony had already escorted Rylee back in.
“Let’s go! We have a herbal recipe to prepare,” I said, with as much calmness as I could muster.
It’s been so many years; I’m numb to these feelings. Even anger is unnecessary at this point.
Jackson sighed as he drove.
Back at Glenwood, I followed the doctor’s instructions with the herbal remedy. Summer began crying again. Jackson said that she’ll cry whenever she’s feeling hungry. But she didn’t seem to enjoy the milk formula very much.
Nick stayed back at the office that night. That presented a dilemma, as he was the handiest with Summer. Without him, Jackson and I were at a loss in regards to her constant crying.
The only thing we could do was to hold her and paced around the room. It wasn’t easy, but we managed to get her down for a nap.
The remedy was ready. I helped myself to a large bowl of it. Jackson stared at me glumly. “The smell alone is bitter enough to make me gag. Are you sure you want to do this?”
I nodded, took a deep breath, pinched my nose, and gulped it all down. It was bitter as hell, and the honey lozenge that Jackson handed me afterward couldn’t have been more welcome.
My stomach wasn’t agreeable, either. It rumbled on and on like a grouchy old dog. I went back into the bedroom and lay down for a bit. Not long after, Nick came home and took Summer and Jackson out for a walk.
I was almost asleep when the phone rang; It was Anthony. I picked up groggily. “What is it?” I mumbled, irritated.
“Come down, we need to talk!” He said in a low voice.
“Can we do this another day? I’m not up for moving much today.” I didn’t feel like having another quarrel again, and I felt that my irritation might just spark one. Besides, another day might give us both time to calm down and talk things through better.
“I’m coming up!”
I…
“Hang on!” I yelled in a panic. I got up, got dressed, and met him downstairs.
It was unexpected that he knew I was living here. The winter in J City wasn’t that harsh. Clad in a wooly sweater and a dark overcoat, Anthony leaned against his car, looking as aloof as ever. He lit a cigarette that glowed warmly in the cold night.
“What is it?” I repeated. I felt extra prickly today, for some reason. It might be due to the herbal medicine I had consumed.
When Anthony saw me, he put out his cigarette and flung it into a bin nearby. He straightened up, took off his coat, and pulled it around my shoulders. “Why aren’t you dressed for the cold?”
I pouted in annoyance. “Say whatever it is you’re here for!” My patience wore thin and I was not in the mood for idle chatter out here in the cold with him.
He frowned but I couldn’t read his expression. “Come back to Peakville Estate.”
“I have things going on!” I shrugged off his coat and handed it back to him. “Besides, I like it here.”
My head throbbed as I sensed another argument on the horizon.
“Sienna, you’re a married woman now.” There was a bite of impatience in his voice. “Don’t you know that? Do you think it’s appropriate for you to be living with two men?”
“No, it isn’t.” I looked up at him. “Anthony, I’ve told you this before. If you’re not happy with this arrangement, I’m happy to sign the divorce papers for you,” I said with no regard for his feelings.
“Sienna!” Anthony grabbed my arm roughly. It hurt. “Is our marriage a joke to you? Have you become so comfortable in flinging the threat of divorce around?”
“Yes, it is! It’s a joke! So, Anthony, when are you going to leave me?”
Anthony narrowed his eyes, his eyes dark and dangerous. After a long while, he tightened his grip around my arm and flung me into the backseat of his car, with strength and roughness that frightened me.
I wasn’t strong enough to retaliate. Before I could sit upright, he drove away.
It was a dangerous ride; he sped past countless red lights. At breakneck speed, we arrived at his villa.
I was still in a daze when Anthony yanked me out of the car. “Anthony, are you crazy?” I struggled.
He said nothing and hoisted me up on his shoulders. I grew dizzy and lost my bearings. With every step he took, I felt seasick.
Anthony brought me into a bedroom and flung me onto the bed. He climbed on top of me and took off his coat before I could sit up.
“Anthony, you scumbag!” I shouted as I bit into his shoulder and held on until I tasted blood.
I didn’t know what to do with him.
I stopped struggling and opened my eyes. I couldn’t divorce him, nor could I get rid of him. All hope is lost.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.
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