“The f**k it is.” He stands from the couch now. “I was going to f**king propose to her. Of course there will be feelings. I can’t just shut it off.”
“Yeah, well, Roberts holds my future in his hands, and I can’t just turn off my goals and desires to make something of myself. Out of everyone, you should understand that.” I sl*p my backpack on and head toward the door. I glance over my shoulder one last time to see if he’s going to say something or stop me, but he doesn’t, so . . . I leave and go right to the elevator, where I p**ss the down b**ton.
My l*ps tremble, and my throat tightens as I hold back my tears. I will not cry.
Not over something as stupid as this.
Silas was being an ass, and that’s on him. I was coming here to find a solution, and he wouldn’t even listen.
That’s no reason to cry or get emotional.
It just means . . . I don’t need him.
************************************
SILAS
I haven’t slept well for the past three days.
All thanks to f**king Ollie.
I’m still pissed.
I’m pissed that she didn’t tell her boss to f**k off, and I’m even more pissed that she brought up Sarah. She has no f**king idea about the bullshit I went through with Sarah, so she shouldn’t be speaking a word about her.
Water bottle in hand, I walk into the weight room, knowing I’m not going to be alone, and head right to the wind bikes, where I set my drink down and hop on to warm up.
This is f**king ridiculous. I’m not even dating the f**king girl, and she’s driving me nuts. I should just tell her the deal is off. I thought this was going to be a good idea, but I was wrong. This is more than I think my mind can handle. I’ve stayed up until the early morning hours going over our conversation in my head. She claims she wasn’t going to write an exposé, but it almost seemed like she was seeing if I could be okay with it.
Never.
I would never be okay with it.
“Dude, you okay?” Posey asks. “You’re riding that bike pretty damn hard for a warm-up.”
I didn’t even realize. I slow down and say, “Looking for a good burn before I get started.”
“Brave,” Posey says. “I never look for a burn.”
He’s such a liar. Being one of our defenders, Posey is always in the weight room, trying to keep a leg up on the competition.
“Is Ollie excited about going to the sponsorship party tonight?” Posey asks.
“I don’t think she’s going to attend.”
“Oh . . .” He slows down his pace. “Is there something going on? Is that why you’ve been in a shit mood the last few days?”
Yes.
“No,” I answer. “I think she has other plans.”
“I see.” He pauses. “Dude, are you not bringing her because Sarah will be there? I hate to admit it, but Pacey said he saw how you looked at Sarah at the ice-skating event. He thought it was concerning, like . . . like you were still in love.”
I stop my bike. Sarah will be there tonight? F**k. Why did I think she wouldn’t be a part of the event tonight? Of course she is. And then I register what Posey said after that.
I hop off the bike. “I’m not in love with her.”
Posey follows me over to the weight rack, trailing closely. “Are you sure? Ollie seems pretty cool, and I don’t want you hurting her.”
“I’m not going to hurt her,” I say as I stack weights for warm-up squats.
“Okay . . . because she seems really young.”
“She is,” I reply. Younger than I care to admit.
“And you can do damage to a girl that young if your head isn’t on straight.”
“What are you? Her f**king father? Jesus, Posey.”
“No, but I also know when your head is elsewhere, and that’s what’s been going on lately. I’m worried you’re thinking about Sarah.”
“I’m not f**king thinking about her,” I shout. “Now get off my back.”
Posey holds up his hands and takes a step back. “I’m just looking out for you.”
“No, you’re driving me nuts. I want nothing to do with Sarah.”
“You sure?” Posey asks and then glances around the nearly empty weight room. “Because . . .” He pauses and takes a step forward. “Because I overheard her at the ice-skating event after you left. She was excited to have the job so she could be close to you again.”
I lift my head. “She said that?”
“Yes, and the last thing I want to see is you getting back together with her. Hell, man, she hurt you so bad you still haven’t told us the truth about your breakup and everything that went down. I’m not sure you told anyone.”
I haven’t told a soul.
“It’s none of anyone’s business.”
“And then this summer, when you started talking to her again—”
“That was brief and won’t be happening again. Seriously, we’re done. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Okay, well, just watch your back because I don’t want you to get into a bunch of trouble because of Sarah.” He pats me on the back and returns to the bike, where he continues to warm up. See . . . he likes the burn.
As I rest the bar on my shoulders and take a step back from the rack to start my squats, all I can think about is how Sarah will be at that event tonight and that I don’t want to be alone with her. I know how Sarah can be. Hell, I experienced it this summer. She can be incredibly convincing, and for some stupid-as-shit reason, I’m easily convinced. But one thing I do know for sure? I am not in love with her anymore. I will never love her again.
* * *
I know this is stupid.
I don’t need anyone judging me for what I’m about to do, but I thought about it all f**king day, and I don’t have any other options. So as I head off the elevator, I go straight to Ollie’s dorm room, ready to force her to go with me tonight.
And knowing her, she’ll put up a goddamn fight.
Have we spoken since our fight at my place?
Nope.
Not even a text message.
So she’s not going to be expecting me or my request.
Or my lack of apology . . .
Standing in front of her door, I give it two loud knocks, then stick my hands in my suit pockets. I went with a forest-green suit tonight with a white b**ton-up shirt and brown shoes with a matching belt. I paired the outfit with my favorite brown leather-wr*pped watch and my signature Tom Ford cologne.
It takes a few seconds, but when she answers the door, I’m subjected to another one of those goddamn crop tops . . . and an angry scowl.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“We have an event to go to, sweet cheeks,” I say, but my voice sounds more menacing than anything.
“You can f**k right off,” she says, attempting to shut the door, but I stop her and push my way into her dorm room.
She stumbles backward, shocked by my brazenness. Hands on her h*ps, she says, “Oh no, you did not just charge your way in here.”
I shut the door behind me and adjust the cuffs of my sleeves as I say, “A deal is a deal, Oliana, which means you need to get yourself dressed and come with me.”
“You said you didn’t want me to come with you tonight.”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.
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