“That would be sweet,” she says, plastering on a fake smile. She then turns her attention back to Silas. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your meal.” She touches his arm. “It was so nice to see you, Silas. Good luck this season. I can’t wait to cheer you on.”
“Thanks, Sarah,” Silas says, sticking his hands in his pockets.
And as she walks away, I watch Silas watch her.
Wow, just . . . wow.
After a few seconds, I say, “So . . . that’s Sarah.”
He nods, then presses his hand to my back and leads me toward the buffet where we quietly fill our plates. He assists me, scooping the food out that I want. He grabs us silverware and napkins, and when he finds us a seat, he grabs us drinks as well. It’s like he’s on autopilot, frozen in his thoughts with nothing to say.
Thankfully, after a few minutes of silence while we eat, Winnie comes over to our table and takes a seat. “Aren’t the meatballs divine? They have them at every gathering.”
“They’re really good,” I reply, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Even though Silas sits next to me with his hand on my thigh, I catch him looking back at Sarah every so often. If this was a real relationship, my ass would be walking out that door so fast. I’m actually tempted to call it a day. Silas and I aren’t attached, but I do feel embarrassed. Anyone observing us would see that Silas is clearly distracted, like I’m not good enough to hold his attention.
“Hey dude, you okay?” Pacey says as he sits down and sets a plate in front of Winnie.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Silas says as he pushes a piece of broccoli around on his plate. “Pretty tired, though. I think I’m about ready to go.”
“I actually was hoping to talk to you for a second,” Pacey says and clears his throat. “In private.”
Silas glances at him, and they exchange some sort of secret conversation that forces Silas to nod and stand. And without a second thought to me, he and Pacey walk off.
What happened to not leaving me behind? Good God, this man.
When they’re out of earshot, Winnie leans in. “Are you okay?”
“Of course.” I smile at her because I’m not going to make a big deal out of being around Sarah—that would just mean I’m intimidated by her. And even though I am, I’m not going to show it.
When I imagined Silas’s ex-girlfriend, I assumed she’d be this average girl who maybe broke his young high school heart. I had no idea she’d be as stunning as she is or sophisticated with one of the most sultry voices I’ve ever heard. I truly felt like a tenth grader trying to gain her crush’s attention while standing next to him.
“You’re so much stronger than I am,” Winnie says. “I’d have a coronary if Pacey’s ex-girlfriend was near us.”
I just shrug. “He’s not with her. He’s with me. That’s all I need to know.”
“You know, I might have a girl crush on you.”
That makes me chuckle as I take the last bite of my meatball.
“So now that they’re out of the way, I want to get to know you more. What do you do?”
“Well, I’m actually still in college.”
“What?” Winnie asks, her eyes widening. “You’re in college?”
“Going into my last year. I’m majoring in journalism. I have an internship with Alan Roberts.”
“Impressive. I know exactly who that is. Wow. I thought you were young, but I didn’t know you were that young. Does Silas visit you on campus?”
“Only at my dorm,” I say.
“Why do I find that so hot?” Winnie asks. “Just the thought of dating an older man and having him visit you on campus is like something you’d read about but never see in real life.”
“You should see him when he comes over. He’s all covered up so he’s not recognized.”
She chuckles. “Now that I can see. Are you from around here?”
“Oregon, actually. I knew I wanted to be in journalism, and Roberts was the best in the Pacific Northwest, so I applied to college up here. Luckily, I got in and worked my ass off to earn that internship. It was actually just extended.”
“That’s fantastic,” Winnie says. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you ready for the season to start?”
“I am,” I say. “I honestly don’t know much about hockey. I didn’t even know who Silas was when I first met him. So I don’t know what to expect.”
“I have one year under my belt. The key to making it through the season is lots of communication. And trust of course. Pacey and I like to keep things interesting. We have dates every night when he’s away, and we tend to get . . . frisky over the phone.”
I smile. “I love that. Do you get each other off?”
Winnie perks up as if this is the first time she’s been able to talk about this. “Yes, every time. I like to surprise him with different lingerie.”
“Do you strip for him?”
“Yes. But he honestly just likes it when I play with myself. I just prop up the camera and listen to him tell me what to do.”
“That’s so hot,” I say, feeling jealous. “The guy I was with before Silas never wanted to try anything beyond missionary. And even at that, we didn’t have much sex.”
“Travesty.” Winnie leans in. “Believe me when I say these hockey men are insatiable. Especially after a win, all they want to do is fuck, and fuck hard.” My mouth waters at the thought.
Too bad we have the no whorehouse pact.
Dammit, I didn’t think this through.
Just then, the guys come back, and instead of taking a seat, Silas says, “Are you good to go?”
“Sure,” I say, sensing how off he is.
He holds his hand out to me, and I take it. “We’ll catch you guys later.”
I offer Winnie a smile and a wave and allow Silas to guide me out of the room and to the elevator, where we wait. When it dings, a few players come off, including Posey. They do a quick fist-bump, and then we’re on the elevator, headed down.
The entire time, Silas stays silent. I wish for the life of me I knew what he’s thinking because I know a lot is swirling through his head. I also want to know what Pacey said to him, but that’s none of my business and not something I’m going to pry into.
After we get off the elevator, we head down the hallway and out the door to the parking lot full of some of the most expensive cars I’ve ever seen. Row after row.
When we reach Silas’s car, he moves to the passenger side and opens the door for me. I take a seat, and he shuts the door before moving around to his side. His silence is deafening right now. I have no idea how to handle this or what to ask him to see if he’s okay. I’m not sure he even wants to talk at this point, so when he gets in the car, I don’t say anything.
I just let him drive.
And that’s what he does.
We drive in silence to my dorm, and the entire time, I replay the night. I think about how he so carefully helped me skate, how he was attentive and sweet when I was nervous and scared, but all of that vanished the moment he saw Sarah. And after that, it was almost as if I didn’t exist or I was just an accessory to his night.
And maybe I was.
I shouldn’t be offended by that. It’s a job after all. This is what I signed up for.
When we reach my dorm parking lot, he parks instead of pulling to the front and then gets out of the car. I wait for him to open my door, assuming he wants to talk, but when he just helps me out and walks me up to my dorm, I’m more confused than ever.
He follows me up the elevator, and when we reach my room, I expect him to say goodbye. Instead, when I open the door, he follows me right in and kicks off his shoes at the front.
Done with the silence, I turn toward him and say, “What’s going on?”
“I’m exhausted,” he says as he walks over to my bed, hops up on it, and lies down.
Uhhh . . .
I enter the main space, and with a hand on my hip, I say, “You realize you have a home, right?”
“I can’t fucking drive there right now,” he says as he closes his eyes and drapes his thick arm over his face. “Just give me an hour. Okay?”
“Just give you an hour? You want to sleep in my bed for an hour?”
“Please, Ollie,” he says, sounding more exhausted than I realized.
What can I really say? It’s not like I can force him out of my dorm, the man has major muscle, so I just step away and move toward my closet. I pull my sweater up and over my head, leaving me in my bra, and then I dig around for one of my comfortable shirts, but all I have are crop tops. That will have to do.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.
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