Anthony agreed to my request immediately. “Of course.” He left the couch and went upstairs. “I’ll make the arrangements.”
For both our sake, we kept our conversation to a minimum.
Anthony was only human, after all. It was unreasonable and cruel of me to have him accompany the woman he loved while she grieved over another man.
Hiding my true feelings in front of Anthony took a considerable amount of effort because I had always felt comfortable in my own skin around him. In contrast, my interactions with Marcus were always ambiguous. Eventually, I developed an appreciation for the freedom I had in expressing my emotions around Anthony.
Anthony changed into a set of casual wear I had chosen for him in the past before we left for the hospital. The attire dimmed his usual imposing demeanor, and he looked a lot more relaxed and approachable.
I could not help but tease his appearance. “Are you sure you want to dress like a harmless man to face your love rival?”
“Am I?” Barely batting an eyelid at my joke, Anthony walked toward me and slung an arm around my shoulder, leading us out of the house. He added cheekily, “Haven’t you noticed that we’re wearing a matching couple’s outfit?”
I lowered my gaze and realized the truth in his words. The laugh that was about to burst out of me suddenly caught in my throat.
Jealousy was natural during a meeting between love rivals, yet I worried if the sight of a couple’s outfit might trigger Marcus and worsen his condition instead.
Absorbed in my thoughts, I felt a hand squeezing my shoulder. Anthony said casually, “I’m not so petty that I would rub my victory in a patient’s face. Marcus would never wish to see me. I wouldn’t be surprised if hearing my name shortens his lifespan by a few days. So, you’re visiting him alone.”
I pursed my lips, unsure of what to say.
Anthony had more to say. “But, I’m not that generous either, so I need other ways to manage my feelings. Putting on this couple’s outfit reassures me of our feelings for one another.”
His nonchalant tone made it seem like he was talking about someone else, yet I knew better than anyone else how outrageous Anthony behaved when he was jealous.
He was holding in his instinctive actions for my sake.
Love often meant doing things one sometimes despised for the happiness of one’s partner.
A phrase in the Bible suddenly came to mind—love is patient. Anthony’s behavior right now was the living embodiment of that sentence.
I barely had time to feel touched by his actions when he shoved me into the car.
We made our way through the hospital and came to the corridor outside Marcus’ ward. Camelia and her child sat on a bench outside the ward. They looked so lost it seemed like their souls had left their bodies, leaving behind two empty shells.
I did not think it was possible, but they seemed even more haggard than before.
It was no exaggeration to say that one’s illness could cripple the foundation of an entire family.
Camelia seemed astonished to see us, and a smile soon blossomed on her pale face. She stood up with her child to convey their gratitude at our visit.
We exchanged glances silently before I entered the soul-sucking ward alone.
Surprisingly, Marcus was awake. I knew he heard my footsteps, yet he did not turn around and eked out weakly, “Not again. If you really love me and want me to live a few more days, take the kid with you and marry someone else. Don’t appear in my life again.”
He sounded sickly and exhausted. The mean words Marcus had uttered lost their edge as they came out in spurts between his efforts to huff and catch his breath.
My gut told me that this was not the first time he had said such nasty things in a bid to push away Camelia and their son so he would not burden them with his illness.
Or perhaps his pride would not permit him to become the subject of pity.
I bit down on my lip as tears streamed down my face. Despite my best efforts to stop myself from crying out loud, some sniffles escaped me.
The ward descended into silence after Marcus’ words, and he gradually turned his head to face me as he noticed that something was amiss.
Our gazes met, and I could tell that my appearance was torture to him.
I spoke as softly as I could while ensuring that Marcus could hear my every word. “If you don’t want to see me under such circumstances, I can leave.”
I could empathize with Marcus if he refused to be seen by someone he loved in a state ravaged by illness. His emotions were my priority, and I would respect any decision he made.
Marcus stared at me quietly for a long time until it felt like the time and space around us were frozen. His pupils barely moved, and he did not seem angered by my presence. Only the arrhythmic beating of his heart assured me that he was still alive.
I took his silence as tactful rejection. Maybe Marcus was not prepared to see me yet.
Mustering a smile on my face, I nodded my head a fraction to let him know that I was not upset by his decision.
I had just turned around to leave when he said, “I knew you would come. Please take a seat.” I knew you would come. Please, sit.
The words rang in my head as I took a deep breath to push down the urge to burst into tears. I composed myself before returning to his bedside and taking a seat.
“How do you feel today? Better?” This sort of small talk felt rather cliché to me, yet it always seemed like the most natural thing to do.
“What would you like to hear? That I’m feeling great, or no?” Each word seemed to sap Marcus’ energy, though he stubbornly maintained that self-deprecating expression on his face.
Who are you trying to impress?
I smiled as I tucked the blankets around him and teased, “You shouldn’t concern yourself with my feelings at this point. You’re the patient here. So tell me how you really feel.”
Life felt like one of Shakespeare’s ironic comedies. It was the most trivial of matters that often courted the harshest criticisms and the most heartless words.
Yet, when it came time to knock on death’s door, one would wear a perpetual smile and assure everyone that everything was fine. It was as if living in denial could change one’s fate, even though it was no more than an act of self-deception.
The facade intensified as one inched closer to imminent death. In a sense, lying was the only way to pull through the agonizing journey toward the end.
“I feel crappy,” came his loud answer. It seemed to exhaust him as he added weakly, “I feel terrible, and everything hurts. It’s so unfair.”
I knew he was being harsh to vent his anger, yet I could not suppress the sorrow that rose in me. My hands paused in their motion, and I avoided his gaze.
“What are you scared of?” Marcus was heaving as he said this, and his warm breath fogged up his ventilator.
I tried my best not to reveal my emotions and shook my head. Instead, I coaxed him, “Nothing. You shouldn’t be scared, either. I’ve tracked down the best doctors in the world, and they’ll figure something out. You’re Marcus White, for God’s sake. You’ve cheated death more times than I can remember, and you won’t go down so easily.”
I paused for a moment before lifting my gaze. Nudging his elbow, I added, “Be a man and put up a fight.”
He lowered his gaze slowly until it landed on the spot where I had touched him. The expression in his eyes did not change as he silently contemplated my words. A while later, he uttered, “Marry me, and I’ll hang on. Otherwise, dying now doesn’t make a difference to me.”
“Don’t be childish.” I sighed and continued apologetically, “You were there at my wedding. Marcus, I’m living well, and I’m happy. Please stop being so stubborn and let go of your obsession. There’s someone out there whose heart has always belonged to you but you haven’t seen it yet.”
Marcus’ gaze grew hazy, and it was impossible to discern if he had lost focus or was paying attention to my words.
“I won’t talk about this anymore if you don’t want to listen to it. I’ll be here every day to visit you and take care of you. Everything will be fine. Don’t overthink things—”
“I want to marry you.” Marcus raised his voice suddenly.
Shocked, I lifted my head and met his stubborn gaze.
He said coldly, “You can’t refuse me. I ended up like this because of you. In a bid to control Anthony, the Halls initially planned to skip in vivo trials and use you as their guinea pig for their radiation trials. I offered to take your place instead, and this is the aftermath of their experiment.”
Marcus began cackling pitifully after that, and despite the absurdity of his words, I could not find it in myself to hate him.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.
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